Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Its Sale Time!


Its the 11th month. And in order to get ahead of the holiday rush this year, I'm offering a month long sale. 

Been waiting to buy that cute ruffly camera strap? Thinking about getting one for the photographer lover in your life? Nows the time!

ruffles, no ruffles.
mix and match.
lens cap pockets.
custom sizes. 

it all can be done! 

i can't wait to work with you!!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Saturday, October 27, 2012

balance.

i can't seem to find the balance.

it was been a month since i last blogged.
i quickly throw strap orders together at night between dinner and a shower.
i look at my computer maybe twice during the week.
my personal to do list doesn't get touched.
i haven't read a book in who knows how long. i used to read 40 or 50 in a year.
i barely touch my camera, my favorite thing in my house. (thing... as in, non-breathing)
when i do, the pictures sit untouched, unedited.

it is so frustrating.

i get up at 5:30am. i throw on makeup, scarf down some breakfast while M makes my lunch, and get out the door by 6:20am. work all day and get home around 4:30pm.

i had big plans to take advantage of the early schedule. the off at 4pm thing. it seems ideal. and in some ways it is. but after spending 8 hours working with 5 and 6 year olds, the majority of it on my feet, and a couple hours outside, i just want to sit when i get home.

and before i know it, M has dinner on the table, our shows are on and suddenly its 9pm and i need to get a shower so i can sleep in the morning. sometimes i don't know how i got from monday to thursday without accomplishing anything other than a coloring sheet and a few conflict negotiations*.

and i hate it. i want to find the balance. i want to pursue the big ideas i have for my little handmade company. i want to edit the pumpkin patch pictures and the mustache bash pictures. i want to post them on my little blog, my scrapbook of life. i want to read your blogs and participate in the community i love. i want to bake cookies. i want to read a book.

i need those things. i need to not get lost in the crayons and anecdotal notes. i need to not lose sense of me and the things i love.

but i can't find the balance. i can't get in the routine i need and want.

hopefully i will find a way to figure it out sometime soon...

*there is a lot more to my job. i am completely simplifying it and making it sound like a glorified babysitter and that's not what it is. swear it.

Monday, October 1, 2012

official

today is a big day.

some may think i should be hiding in a corner crying my eyes out. or in a deep contemplative state wondering how life got to be the way it is. or wanting to be a recluse and not see or talk to anyone.

but i'm not.

instead i am breathing the biggest sigh of relief i probably ever have.

on november 4th, 2011, i completed a long, rough 8 hour drive by myself. and when i walked in the door of the home i grew up in with a suitcase and tired eyes, i breathed a sigh of relief.

but today. today it is all done. it is finalized and official and i no longer have to sit in this limbo land waiting for all ties to be cut. the sigh of relief is even bigger today.

today one of the many weights sitting on my shoulders is being lifted. possibly the biggest weight of them all.

today i am officially divorced. today i am officially freed of the emotional abuse that i endured for 7 years. today i can take a new step forward without the one little tie still hanging on by a thread.



11 months, hours of phone calls, hundreds of dollars, and countless tears later, it is done.

today i am happy. i am relieved. i am content.

today the healing takes a giant leap forward.



oh and i also started a new job today. see? big day.