this morning as i was standing in front of the mirror flat ironing my hair, i was thinking.
i was thinking about the season of life we are in. i was thinking about the mountains set before us to climb.
i was thinking about the new job that i start either tomorrow or monday, about the permit i needed to go acquire this morning. about the conversation with my current boss that was ahead of me this afternoon.
i was thinking about the ants mike found crawling on my $5 box of honey nut cheerios that now had to be trashed. the box that was still 3/4 full. about the fact that we can't afford to be throwing away perfectly good, yummy food.
i was thinking about the zits that had appeared on my face all of a sudden. after a good 3 months of no breaking out. how frustrating it was. i was thinking about the stress that caused them. a level of stress i have not experienced in a long time.
i was thinking about the jobs mike has interviewed for that would be really good jobs. jobs that we are still waiting to hear on. i was thinking about the suspense of waiting.
i was thinking about the $68 i need to spend on contacts. about the last pair currently in my eyes that were feeling too old. the ones that need to be trashed soon but can't be until i find a way to get the new ones.
i was thinking about the conversation mike and i had had the night before. about how i needed to open up to him more when i was struggling. about how easily frustrated i had been lately.
i was thinking about the big party i'm planning that is only 2 weeks away with lots of diy still to do.
i was thinking about the shop and the business and how much i want to grow it. about how i'm going to find time to work full time and still grow this business while helping my family and spending time with my love. about how its all going to be a lot and how was i going to make it all work.
i was thinking about the future. about what it was going to look like. what was god's plan?!
and then it hit me.
he's testing us. maybe that's not the best term and maybe some people will get mad that i put it that way but thats the way it came into my head.
he is putting these mountains in front of us to climb. to work through. to fall apart and grow stronger. yes there are a lot of things against us right now. but that doesn't mean we can't get through it.
i may be frustrated when i shouldn't be. i may say things i don't mean. i may be stressed when i need to just breathe. i may want to just pretend all is fine and dandy when it certainly is not.
but he is there. listening. watching. healing. strengthening. he's got this.
i just need to pick myself back up, brush myself off, and move forward. conquer the next little task on the way to climbing these mountains.